I know I am in the minority because most of you just love the hot weather and to wear your teeny tiny little shorts and skirts and strappy sandals. Well I am very happy for you all. Really. Enjoy the far too many months of warm weather. You are the winners. In my opinion, there’s hardly a really cold month around here. While I am trying to reverse out of my parking spot on an icy hill I am not cursing or getting mad. I am loving the fact that there is ice on the ground and my apartment isn’t going to be 90 degrees when I get home. If I’m not on a beach vacation, I want it to be under 50 degrees. Here are my reasons:

1. I have completed a gorgeous make-up application and look fa-bu-lous (at least that’s my perception and we should all think we look fabulous, always.) and the second I step away from the fan and into the hallway to wait for the elevator, I feel sweaty and gross within seconds. Not to mention the professional concealing work to cover any zits and scars is melting away by about 75 percent before I even get to the street. By the time I get where I am going and supposed to be looking fabulous, instead I will look like I need a shower again. Why do I even bother?

2. The subway. There can not be a more miserable feeling than stepping down into the bowels of hell in mid August after it rains or at 4pm on the third day of a heat wave. All you peeps from outside the city (THE city- New York City, that is), take it from me. Unless of course you want the true middle-class New Yorker experience but I do not recommend it. Avoid the subway in the summer at all costs and take a taxi instead. Do your make-up when you get to your well air-conditioned destination. Or go without. Either way you ain’t looking good when you get there. Stay indoors unless absolutely necessary until about 9pm. That’s how I roll in summer – and also why I try to avoid Florida at all costs.

3. It’s a bad hair day-month-season. Humidity stinks. Blow outs turn into afros in an hour and curly hair looks like the top of a Q-tip. 2 words. Pony tail.

4. Having pedicures and waxing occupy far too much time in scheduling my days off and lunch breaks. It’s really nice to not have to have to worry about such major life issues such as well groomed toes and hairless body parts all winter.

5. Second degree burns on my hands from touching the steering wheel or the CD’s in the car! Oh yeah and the exploding cases of soda in the trunk because I am too lazy to drag them around the block up into the apartment.

6. Twisting up a tube of lipstick and it’s so melted it falls right out of the tube onto my clothes or on the floor. Just great. That’s $22 down the drain. How come that never happens with a $1.99 Wet N Wild lipstick?

. . .

All I can say is enjoy the rest of the summer. I wish I could. So until November I will be armed with my bottle of chilled Facial Spray with Aloe Herbs and Rosewater and douse myself repeatedly so I don’t get too cranky.